This time is different.

Monday, September 10, 2007

This time is different.

So many of you have asked questions about our new adventure overseas. What will we be doing? Where will we live? I decided to create a blog for those of you who want to know the specifics. And it will also give you much more detail (probably more than you want). It is also a way for me to express all that I am feeling these days - these exciting, difficult, days. As I have told many of you - the "going" is so exciting but the "leaving" is so hard.

This time is different. First of all, we are leaving all of our children on "this side of the big pond" (not to mention that it is a whole different POND!) But we are leaving them healthy in their relationships with Him. Our oldest daughter and her husband (and Jackson, the dog) are in Nashville. They will soon celebrate their second wedding anniversary. Our son is a junior in college and our youngest daughter is a freshman in college. They are all spiritually strong and ready to face their own adventures in life. But it feels funny not packing for them. It feels funny not sewing in labels in all their clothes to go off to boarding school. It feels funny to just pack for two. This time feels different.

This time is different. This is our third "furlough" in the states since we went to Africa in 1993. The other two times we crated up things to take with us. The first crate included four years worth of Christmas and birthday presents, clothes and shoes for three growing children for four years, major appliances, household wares and bedding, and even a few air conditioners! We literally crated up pretty much everything that we owned. The second time we crated Christmas and birthday presents and clothes and shoes and lots of special food items we liked that were unavailable in West Africa. This time is different. There is no crate. No need for one. Our crate will come from Africa - where we packed up the household items two years ago before we came back to the states. It cannot be shipped until we have resident permits so we will be lucky to see it before Christmas! This time is different. No crate. Just suitcases. No toys. No presents. Just clothes. A few special items like the picture our son made for me for Christmas this year. The two special teddy bears the girls gave me for Mother's Day this year. This feels really different.

This time is different. The past furloughs ended with tough goodbyes. Last time I said goodbye to my Dad for the last time here on this earth. We left knowing we would not see extended family again for years. This time is different. We know with our new job we will come back to the states at least once a year. That makes the goodbyes a little easier (but they are still very difficult).

This time is different. We are leaving our African culture and going to an Asian culture. Thank goodness the national language is English! That is different. We will be learning a new culture, a new way of life. We will not be in a third world country but will be in a country which in many ways, surpasses our American culture. We are going to a place where no electricity is unheard of. That is different.

This time is different. We are with a new company. We are setting up a brand new international office. Our job descriptions aren't even written down. There are a lot of blank spaces. I feel like a learner all over again. And I'm up for a good stretching. These stretching times are the times I learn to go deeper with Him - to depend on Him more.

This time is different. There are so many things about it that are different. It feels funny. It feels sad. It feels exciting. It is hard. How can so many emotions be wrapped up in one decision - that decision is to be obedient to Him - above all? Even though it feels funny and unfamiliar. Even though it feels sad to be separated from our wonderful children who continue to bless us with their obedience to Him. Even though it feels exciting. Even though it is a time of stretching. Even though it is hard - maybe the hardest thing we've done so far - harder than leaving our families back in 1993 - harder than leaving our kids in boarding school year after year - harder than facing war at our front door or burglars in our home - yes, maybe this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Yes, this time is different. There is no doubt about that. But in all of the DIFFERENCE - He is the same - yesterday, today and tomorrow. I can count on Him to lead me, push me, pull me, stretch me, comfort me, and love me. I know He will put His big Old arms around me and whisper my name. He is worthy of all my obedience. He is worthy. What a pitiful thing I am and what I have to offer seems menial in contrast to His greatness. But I give it wholeheartedly - my obedience. He said it is better than sacrifice.

Yes, this time is different, but that's okay. We will all be okay because He is the focus. It's not about me.